Over the next couple of weeks, I found myself pulling away more and more.
Life was genuinely busy for both of us, but if I’m being honest, that wasn’t the real reason. My replies became slower, my messages got shorter, and I wasn’t putting the same energy into our conversations that I had before.
I think a part of me hoped Matt would notice.
I hoped he would ask if everything was okay or tell me I seemed different. I wanted him to recognize that something had shifted and open the door to a conversation I was struggling to start myself.
But he never did. He kept texting as though everything was completely normal.
And as irrational as it sounds, that started to frustrate me.
Matt was a genuinely good guy. Looking back, he may have simply assumed I was busy or wanted to give me space. It’s also possible he noticed the change and chose not to push the issue.
Whatever the reason, the silence made it harder.
The whole situation reminded me of something I had experienced in my marriage. My ex-husband often acted as though everything was fine, even when it clearly wasn’t. It sometimes felt like appearances mattered more than addressing what was actually happening beneath the surface.
To be clear, Matt wasn’t my ex-husband, and I’m not suggesting he shared those same qualities.
But his reluctance—or inability—to acknowledge that something felt off brought back memories I hadn’t expected.
In the end, I knew continuing to drift wasn’t fair to either of us.
When he got home from his trip and asked if I wanted to get together, I decided to be honest.
I told him that I felt like I had too much going on in my life to commit to a serious relationship and that it wouldn’t be fair to keep seeing him if my heart wasn’t fully in it. I also made sure he knew that I thought he was a wonderful person and sincerely wished him the best.
And I meant every word.
Matt handled it with grace.
There was no anger, no resentment, and no attempt to change my mind. In fact, he even suggested that maybe someday we could grab a coffee or go for a hike as friends.
That response only reinforced what I already knew about him. He was kind.
Since then, we’ve only exchanged one brief message. He checked in to see how I was doing and mentioned that maybe we’d still make it out for that hike one day.
I’m certainly not opposed to the idea.
Sometimes two people simply aren’t meant to be romantic partners, and that’s okay.
Matt was one of the good ones.
He just wasn’t my person.
And for the first time in my dating journey, I was able to recognize that, be honest about it, and walk away with no bitterness—just gratitude for the time we shared and the lessons I learned along the way.
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