By this point, Joe’s excitement had started to feel a little overwhelming.
After everything that happened the week before, I knew I needed to talk to him about it. I had planned to bring it up sooner, but our schedules didn’t line up, so the conversation had been hanging over my head for several days.
When he picked me up for lunch, I was nervous.
Not because I thought he would react badly, but because these kinds of conversations have never come naturally to me. For most of my life, I would have kept my concerns to myself, convinced myself I was overthinking, and hoped the feeling would go away on its own.
Instead, we headed to BJ’s Brewhouse and spent the first part of lunch chatting normally.
The whole time, though, I knew the conversation was coming.
Toward the end of the meal, Joe looked at me and asked if everything was okay.
It was the opening I needed.
I told him honestly what had been bothering me.
I explained that some of his actions had made me feel pressured and that things seemed to be moving much faster for him than they were for me. I brought up the conversation about moving closer to my area and how uncomfortable it made me feel when he asked for my opinion after we’d only known each other for a few weeks.
I also mentioned the hospital situation.
I told him I understood that it was scary and stressful for him, but that being called multiple times while he was in the car with his mom on the way home from the ER felt like something I wasn’t prepared for in such a new relationship—especially after I already knew he was okay.
To his credit, he handled the conversation really well. He listened. He asked questions.
And most importantly, he didn’t get defensive.
At one point, he asked me directly if I still wanted to see him.
It was a fair question.
The truth was complicated.
If I was being completely honest, I wasn’t convinced I saw a long-term future with him. Some of the things that had initially excited me were now making me question our compatibility.
But I also didn’t think ending things right then and there was the right move.
Not because I was avoiding it.
Not because I wanted to lead him on.
But because I felt like he deserved honesty and a chance to adjust after hearing how I felt.
So I told him I still wanted to continue getting to know him.
And for the first time in a long time, I left a difficult conversation feeling good about how I handled it.
Whether Joe and I worked out or not suddenly felt less important than something else I had realized.
I was changing.
The version of me who first downloaded Hinge would have spent days agonizing over this conversation.
She would have rehearsed every possible outcome, worried about hurting someone’s feelings, and maybe never brought it up at all.
Instead, I sat across from someone, communicated my concerns respectfully, and trusted that whatever happened next would happen.
That felt like progress.
No matter what came next in my dating journey, I was proud of that.
That ended up being the last time I saw Joe. Over the next few weeks, life got busy between moving and helping my sister after she had her third child. We never found the time to get together again, and eventually Joe realized my heart wasn’t really in it. We agreed to end things on good terms. There were no hard feelings, and while we haven’t spoken since, I genuinely hope he’s doing well.
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