The following Friday, I drove up to Ivan’s condo. He lived about thirty minutes from me, and this would be the last time we’d see each other before he left for a trip to Florida with his cousins to escape the lingering New York cold.
By this point, I had already learned a few things about Ivan.
He was one of the hardest-working people I had ever met. He was constantly picking up overtime shifts and always found ways to earn a little extra. He had a second job helping his friend with renovations on a building. Outside of work, he volunteered as a firefighter and was hoping to start at a nearby fire academy soon.
I admired that about him. He was ambitious, dependable, and never seemed afraid of hard work.
When I got there, he greeted me with a hug and a kiss before we headed to the mall. He needed a new outfit for one of the nicer dinners they had planned during the trip, so we wandered from store to store, laughing most of the afternoon.
After shopping, we grabbed dinner.
Conversation between us was still easy, but every now and then I noticed how differently we had grown up.
It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. It was just…different.
I grew up in suburban New York in a neighborhood where I never really had to worry about much. My parents worked hard and gave me every opportunity they could, while also making sure I understood the value of earning things for myself.
I was incredibly fortunate.
Ivan’s childhood looked nothing like mine.
He grew up in a rough part of town. By the time he was seven years old, he already knew what heroin was and understood the dangers that came with it. That wasn’t even a world I had been exposed to growing up.
I wondered if those different experiences might eventually shape how we viewed certain parts of life.
Months earlier, I probably would have spiraled over a thought like that.
Now, I simply noticed it.
I didn’t feel the need to decide our future after every date anymore.
I could acknowledge a potential challenge without convincing myself it had to become one.
When we got back to his condo, I finally met his cat, Tootsie.
I had recently discovered I was allergic to cats, so I kept my distance, but Tootsie apparently had other plans.
“She usually hides from everyone,” Ivan laughed. “She must like you.”
I took that as a win.
We settled onto the couch and picked a movie from my growing list of Movies Everyone Says I Should Have Seen By Now.
Somewhere toward the end of the movie, Ivan started nodding off.
I couldn’t even make fun of him.
We had both been running on early mornings and long weeks, and Friday nights have a way of catching up with you.
I stayed the night, and the next morning we grabbed coffee and breakfast before putting on A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms. We had both loved the Game of Thrones universe, so it felt like the perfect lazy Saturday morning.
Eventually, it was time for me to leave for a birthday party.
As we walked outside, I realized I wasn’t looking forward to the next couple of weeks.
“Have fun on your vacation,” I said, trying not to sound as disappointed as I felt.
Selfishly, I wished he wasn’t leaving.
Not because I couldn’t survive two weeks without seeing him, but because I genuinely enjoyed spending time with him.
He kissed me goodbye and stood on his balcony, waving as I pulled away.
I glanced in my rearview mirror one last time before turning out of the complex.
I paused and found myself looking ahead instead of looking back.
And that felt like a pretty good place to be.
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