Between The Matches

As the weeks went on, I started to realize something I had been trying not to think about.

I didn’t see a future with Matt.

That wasn’t because he had done anything wrong.

In fact, quite the opposite.

Matt was kind, thoughtful, dependable, and easy to spend time with. We got along well, enjoyed many of the same things, and had built a comfortable routine together. He introduced me to new shows, new movies, and different ways of looking at things. I genuinely enjoyed having him in my life.

But despite all of that, something was missing.

The spark wasn’t there.

For a while, I questioned whether I was putting too much importance on that feeling. After all, wasn’t comfort supposed to matter more than butterflies? Wasn’t stability what people were supposed to look for?

On another note – wasn’t comfort supposed to matter more than butterflies? Wasn’t stability what people were supposed to look for?

The truth was, after everything I had gone through with my divorce, I couldn’t ignore it.

Ending a marriage had been one of the hardest experiences of my life. It affected not only me, but my family as well. I had spent so much time rebuilding that I wasn’t willing to settle into another relationship simply because it was comfortable or because the other person was good to me.

I wanted to choose someone with intention. Someone who made me excited about the future.

I had spent years trying to make something work because it looked right on paper. I had convinced myself that if I worked hard enough, sacrificed enough, or wanted it badly enough, things would fall into place.

They didn’t.

That experience taught me something important: compatibility isn’t just about checking boxes. It’s about how someone makes you feel.

And while I cared about Matt, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something essential was missing.

The longer we dated, the more that realization grew.

As those thoughts became harder to ignore, another familiar question crept into my mind: Where is the line between giving something a fair chance and leading someone on?

It was something I’d wrestled with throughout this entire dating journey.

I believed in taking the time to get to know people instead of making snap judgments after one date.

But I also believed that once you knew your feelings weren’t growing, it was only fair to acknowledge that.

And that’s where I found myself with Matt.

The longer we dated, the more that realization grew.

At first, it was easy to push aside.

Then it became harder to ignore.

Eventually, I found myself looking forward to seeing him less than I had before. Not because I disliked him, but because my feelings simply weren’t deepening the way I thought they should.

That left me facing a familiar dilemma.

Throughout this dating journey, one question had surfaced again and again: Where is the line between getting to know someone and leading them on?

I never wanted to be the person who kept someone around simply because ending things was uncomfortable. Matt deserved better than that. He deserved someone who was excited about a future with him.

And if I was being honest with myself, I wasn’t that person.

The timing made things more complicated.

We were both leaving for separate trips to Florida and wouldn’t see each other for a couple of weeks. Ending things right before a vacation felt wrong. It felt abrupt and unfair, especially when there was no conflict between us.

So I waited.

Part of me hoped that the distance would provide clarity for both of us. And if I’m being completely honest, part of me hoped Matt would start noticing the same things I was.

Maybe he would sense that I was pulling back.

Maybe he would come to the same conclusion.

Maybe we’d naturally drift apart and avoid having a difficult conversation altogether.

Looking back, that was probably wishful thinking. Because while I was quietly questioning our future, Matt seemed perfectly content with the present.

And unfortunately for me, he wasn’t coming to the same conclusion.