Between The Matches

Sometimes, life has a funny way of granting your wishes.

After I left Ivan’s condo, I secretly hoped his trip to Florida would somehow get canceled. Not because I didn’t want him to go—I just didn’t want to wait two weeks to see him again.

Well… my wish came true.

Ivan texted me that his flight had been canceled.

Not long afterward, Spirit Airlines went bankrupt, which suddenly made a lot more sense.

As excited as I was that he was staying home, I also felt terrible for him.

Ivan needed that vacation.

He worked harder than almost anyone I knew. Between overtime shifts, volunteering as a firefighter, and preparing for the fire academy, he rarely slowed down.

On top of that, his dad was battling cancer.

Once a week, Ivan drove him forty-five minutes to treatment. His family shared the responsibility, but Thursdays were always Ivan’s day. He also helped his mom around the house while his dad recovered.

He carried a lot on his shoulders.

Since he was unexpectedly staying home, we made plans for Friday night. He insisted he wasn’t too upset about the canceled trip, but I could tell he was disappointed.

Then Thursday afternoon, everything changed again.

His cousins had managed to find him another flight, and he’d be leaving Friday morning after all.

Honestly, I loved that.

Not because our plans were canceled, but because it showed how much his family wanted him there.

He apologized several times for canceling on me.

I laughed and reminded him that technically I was the one interrupting pre-existing vacation plans.

He should absolutely go. So Friday morning, he was off to Florida.

We texted throughout the day, and at one point he sent me a simple message.

“Hope you have a great weekend.”

I laughed. “Is that you saying goodbye for the whole weekend?”

“Of course not,” he replied. “I’m not that guy.”

I smiled. We continued texting throughout the afternoon, but that evening I had some personal issues come up with a friend.

It was one of those nights where you realize you’ve poured a lot into people who don’t always pour the same back into you.

I was hurt.

Ivan could tell something was off almost immediately.

I assured him it had nothing to do with us, but I shared enough for him to understand why I was feeling down.

He listened. He was kind.

Then… Silence.

Around dinner time, I got his last text.

Hours went by. Nothing.

I sent another message.

It showed Delivered. Still nothing.

I don’t know about you, but it gave me an overwhelming sense of déjà vu.

Like Taylor Swift, I’d seen this movie before, and I hadn’t liked the ending.

The next morning, I woke up early at my parents’ house and took the dog for a walk.

The entire time, my mind was racing.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t texted me. It was that he had told me he wasn’t “that guy.”

If he had simply said, “Hey, we’re going out tonight. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I wouldn’t have cared.

Instead, my brain filled in the blanks.

Will had disappeared one night too.

My walls didn’t just go up because of Ivan.

They went up because of everything that had come before him.

At 8:55 that morning, my phone buzzed.

“I’m so sorry. It got crazy last night.”

A few minutes later, another message came through.

“My phone died because I never got a chance to charge it after I left yesterday morning.”

I didn’t answer.

And knowing me, he probably knew I was waiting on purpose.

Around eleven, I finally responded.

“Glad you had fun.”

His reply came almost instantly.

“I know you’re mad at me. I’m so sorry.”

He even added a sad emoji.

The truth was I wasn’t angry anymore. I was guarded.

There was a difference.

I told him he wasn’t my boyfriend and he didn’t owe me updates every hour of the day.

But I also explained that he couldn’t tell me he wasn’t “that guy” and then disappear without any explanation.

He became a little defensive at first, saying he thought I’d be more understanding.

I told him I wasn’t accusing him of anything. I was simply being honest.

I couldn’t control the fact that experiences from the past had made me cautious. I’d been hurt before.

When something feels familiar, it’s hard not to brace yourself.

Almost immediately, his tone softened. He apologized again.

He said he knew I’d already been having a rough night, and the last thing he wanted was for me to think he’d intentionally ignored me.

There wasn’t really anything left to argue about.

It had happened. He apologized. We moved on.

The rest of the afternoon, we texted like normal.

Then there was another gap.

About three hours.

When he finally texted, he explained he’d left his phone back in the room charging.

“So it won’t die again tonight.”

He had listened.

Later that evening, my phone rang. I saw Ivan’s name pop up and I smiled.

“I hope it’s okay I called,” Ivan said after I answered.

“I just wanted to hear your voice and make sure you were okay.”

I couldn’t help but smile bigger.

“Of course it’s okay.”

In the background I heard familiar voices.

“Hi!” Casey and Gabby yelled.

It was such a small moment. But somehow, it made me feel included.

Like even from hundreds of miles away, he wanted me to feel like I was part of his weekend.

It was a short conversation, but it made me feel really better about us.

The walls I had put up before came down. Not all the way, but lowered, nonetheless.